What’s it take to be a good friend? Someone has suggested these characteristics of good friends:
Honesty - Will you tell me the truth? The best gift that someone can give me is honest affirmation (don’t patronize me) and honest correction. Not everyone has the “right” to speak into my life this way. This right is earned by the demonstration of the second characteristic…
Love – Will you love me when I’m at the top of my game? Will you love me when I’m in a slump? Love that transcends the “seasons” of life is the “stuff” that genuine friendship is made of! Some people call this “unconditional love.”
Service - Will you help me? Friends help one another. These last few weeks we’ve been blessed by our friends who have helped with meals, prep for the yard sale, words of encouragement, babysitting, etc. To all of you, we are grateful to have friends like you. Thank you for your help.
Loyalty - Will you “stick it out” with me? Will you defend me when I’m being attacked? Will you stick up for me when I’m not there? A friend is someone who would not have to change the conversation when you walk up.
Receiving - Will you receive from me? A friendship is only as strong as the neediest friend. If you’re always helping me but I do not help you, in time you will grow weary of me! BUT when you help me, and allow me to help you we strengthen one another and the relationship grows healthier and stronger as a result.
Why is X Used when it Replaces Christ in Christmas?
from R.C. Sproul
The simple answer to your question is that the X in Christmas is used like the R in R.C. My given name at birth was Robert Charles, although before I was even taken home from the hospital my parents called me by my initials, R.C., and nobody seems to be too scandalized by that.
…You have to understand that it is not the letter X that is put into Christmas. We see the English letter X there, but actually what it involves is the first letter of the Greek name for Christ. Christos is the New Testament Greek for Christ. The first letter of the Greek word Christos is transliterated into our alphabet as an X. That X has come through church history to be a shorthand symbol for the name of Christ.
We don’t see people protesting the use of the Greek letter theta, which is an O with a line across the middle. We use that as a shorthand abbreviation for God because it is the first letter of the word Theos, the Greek word for God.
The idea of X as an abbreviation for the name of Christ came into use in our culture with no intent to show any disrespect for Jesus. The church has used the symbol of the fish historically because it is an acronym. Fish in Greek (ichthus) involved the use of the first letters for the Greek phrase “Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior.” So the early Christians would take the first letter of those words and put those letters together to spell the Greek word for fish. That’s how the symbol of the fish became the universal symbol of Christendom. There’s a long and sacred history of the use of X to symbolize the name of Christ, and from its origin, it has meant no disrespect.
Tim Keller writes: Recently several people have asked me ‘how do you deal with harsh criticism?’ In each case, the inquirer had felt stung by what they felt were unfair attacks on him or her. In this internet age, anyone can have their views censured unfairly by people they don’t know. So what do you do when that happens? Here’s is the gist of the counsel I give people when they ask me about this. For years I’ve been guided by a letter by John Newton that is usually entitled “On Controversy.”
The biggest danger of receiving criticism is not to your reputation, but to your heart. You feel the injustice of it and feel sorry for yourself, and it tempts you to despise not only the critic, but the entire group of people from which they come. “Those people…” you mutter under your breath. All this can make you prouder over time. Newton writes: “Whatever…makes us trust in ourselves that we are comparatively wise or good, so as to treat those with contempt who do not subscribe to our doctrines, or follow our party, is a proof and fruit of a self-righteous spirit.” He argues that whenever contempt and superiority accompany our thoughts, it is a sign that “the doctrines of grace” are operating in our life “as mere notions and speculations” with “no salutary influence upon [our] conduct.”
So how can you avoid this temptation? First, you should look to see if there is a kernel of truth in even the most exaggerated and unfair broadsides. There is usually such a kernel when the criticism comes from friends, and there is often such truth when the disapproval comes from people who actually know you. So even if the censure is partly or even largely mistaken, look for what you may indeed have done wrong. Perhaps you simply acted or spoke in a way that was not circumspect. Maybe the critic is partly right for the wrong reasons. Nevertheless, identify your own short-comings, repent in your own heart before the Lord for what you can, and let that humble you. It will then be possible to learn from the criticism and stay gracious to the critic even if you have to disagree with what he or she has said.
If the criticism comes from someone who doesn’t know you at all (and often this is the case on the internet) it is possible that the criticism is completely unwarranted and profoundly mistaken. I am often pilloried not only for views I do have, but also even more often for views (and motives) that I do not hold at all. When that happens it is even easier to fall into a smugness and perhaps be tempted to laugh at how mistaken your critics are. “Pathetic…” you may be tempted to say. Don’t do it. Even if there is not the slightest kernel of truth in what the critic says, you should not mock them in your thoughts. First, remind yourself of examples of your own mistakes, foolishness, and cluelessness in the past, times in which you really got something wrong. Second, pray for the critic, that he or she grows in grace. Newton talks about it like this:
“If you account [your opponent] a believer, though greatly mistaken in the subject of debate between you, the words of David to Joab concerning Absalom are very applicable: ‘Deal gently with him for my sake.’ The Lord loves him and bears with him; therefore you must not despise him, or treat him harshly. The Lord bears with you likewise, and expects that you should show tenderness to others, from a sense of the much forgiveness you need yourself. In a little while you will meet in heaven; he will then be dearer to you than the nearest friend you have upon earth is to you now. Anticipate that period in your thoughts; and though you may find it necessary to oppose his errors, view him personally as a kindred soul, with whom you are to be happy in Christ forever.”
So whatever you do, do anything you can to avoid feeling smug and superior to the critic. Even if you say to yourself that you are just ’shrugging it off’ and that you are not going to respond to the criticism, you can nonetheless conduct a full defense and refutation in the courtroom of your mind, in which you triumphantly prove how awful and despicable your opponents are. But that is a spiritual trap. Newton’s remarks about this are very convicting:
“A man may have the heart of a Pharisee, while his head is stored with orthodox notions of the unworthiness of the creature, and the riches of free grace. Yea, I would add, the best of men are not wholly free from this leaven; and therefore are too apt to be pleased with such representations as hold up our adversaries to ridicule, and by consequence flatter our own superior judgments. Controversies, for the most part, are so managed as to indulge rather than to repress his wrong disposition; and therefore, generally speaking, they are productive of little good. They provoke those whom they should convince, and puff up those whom they should edify. I hope your performance will savor of a spirit of true humility, and be a means of promoting it in others.”
Millions and millions of dollars, and hours and hours of manpower have gone into dividing people through politicking when it could have done much better showing others the love of Christ and preaching the Kingdom of God. It’s tragic that Christians are looked upon more negatively today by non-Christians than they were 25 years ago. Through politicking we have alienated the very people we want to introduce to Jesus. How much more could we have accomplished if all that money and time was poured into church plants, missions work, evangelism, and meeting social needs instead of wasting it on failed political endeavors? Jesus said “my kingdom is not of this world.” Let’s keep focused on his kingdom.
I don’t know what Regina Spektor has in mind when she closes her song “we’re all laughing with God.” But if I were closing my song with those words, here’s what I’d mean:
Is humor a product of creation or of the fall? Does it come from Genesis 1 or Genesis 3? Does it originate in God or with Lucifer? If the latter, then no Christ-follower should ever laugh (I know a few people who just might believe that!). If the former, then does God have a sense of humor (“the ability to perceive, enjoy or express what is funny”)? He must. A stream rises no higher than its source. No humor in God, no humor in us. I’m concluding that God “gets” humor. He made it. Or rather, it emanates from him. So every time I laugh, God laughs (assuming a “good” laugh as opposed to a “bad” laugh – everything gets touched by the fall, even laughter. Because we are fallen we sometimes laugh at things that should make us cry, or we laugh at things that are evil. God doesn’t laugh at these things). I am “laughing with God.” Thoughts?
PS – The pic above isn’t meant to personify God laughing. It’s meant to make you laugh at a man laughing.
